“Change happens in a decision” –Valorie Burton

A time was had at Valorie Burton’s CaPP Institute Coach Training Intensive in Atlanta.  I traveled there ready to learn the skills needed to become a great coach and also information to help me build a strong foundation in launching a business. But what I also gained from this experience, were some important takeaways just as valuable as the coaching and business tools I learned.

During these full day trainings, we had an opportunity to connect with men and women who traveled from everywhere, some as far as Canada with various educational and professional backgrounds. There were some who were seasoned in their own businesses, and others who were just in the beginning stages of developing their business goals. But with all of the diversity in the room, there was still a common thread amongst everyone – some event(s) within our lives caused a shift in thinking and behavior which pushed us to go outside of the box and enter a new phase of our journey.

Just imagine being in a room full of like-minded people with a vision for how to serve and better the lives of those around them in the community, corporate organizations, small grass-roots businesses, families and married couples.  It was truly infectious to my spirit to connect with people walking or preparing to walk in their calling.  As I listened to the facilitators, there were multiple “Aha” and “tweetable” moments that came up for the group (sorry, there were just too many to list in this post, but I’ll share more next time!)

Below are five tidbits that I’ve taken from this training and wanted to share with you:

1. “Share Your Story” – One of the most important things we can do to encourage someone else is to be real. People tend to look at the polished version of you and think “he/she really got it together.” But sharing who you are and your journey, can cause a ripple effect in encouraging those around you, offering confirmation that they are not in it alone. Telling your story shows you’re human. What are the things that has happened in your life that caused you to shift into a new direction? This could possibly be your story.

2. “Intuition is Intelligence” – We’ve all heard a quiet or maybe loud voice trying to give us a heads up about a situation. Sometimes the voice says, “There is something just not right about this guy/girl, do not take this relationship any further.”, “You need to get off at this ramp exit instead of the one you normally take”, or “ This house is just right for you and your family, go ahead and buy it.”Please do not discount your intuition as something that is not real, it tends to give us an inkling about whether to move forward or hold still. I think we’ve all been there when we said, “Aww I should have listened to my gut” or “I knew something wasn’t right and I didn’t listen.” Intuition can be just as viable as evidence-based intelligence.

3. “It Takes 3 Positives to Undo a Negative” – I thought this was interesting and did a little more research. Have you ever interacted with someone who constantly spoke to you in a negative tone or said negative comments to you?  Did you ever have this person finally share a nice comment with you or about you, and wonder why you did not feel any differently or not even believe what they were saying? According to Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, author of Positivity, we need to experience three positive emotions from a person to the one negative emotion that was experienced. It’s important to be honest in communicating our feelings with others, but we must also choose how we speak to our friends, children and spouse, for negative comments can create deep seeded emotions that is hard to get rid of.  Also, the ratio in marriage is much higher, it actually takes 5 positive comments/acts to undo a negative. If interested in learning more about this, feel free to check out this link .

4. “Baby Steps are Important” – Sometimes we may think baby steps are not impactful enough in helping us reach our goals, but baby steps are vital to leading you closer to your goals/dreams or any change. Being able to look at the big picture and the end goal is a great gift, everyone should have a vision of some sort in their lives. Just remember, any movement in the direction towards the vision is just as important and shows you are putting those ideas into motion and not just talking about it.  Set short-term goals for it can build momentum with accomplishing your larger goals.

5. “Perfection is Poison” – The quest for perfection is daunting and relentless; it will keep you from living the life you were intended to live. Finding the courage to move from “What will people think?” to “I am enough,” is definitely not easy (Please ask me about it).  However, the true question to ask yourself is: “What’s the greater risk?” Living a life carved out of fear or living a life of being your true self?  Don’t be afraid to make mistakes as you pursue change, it’s the only way to grow.

Since the coaching training, I have continued with taking steps towards my goals and soon I will be leaping into the vision. It’s not always easy to live outside of the box; inside the box there is covering, safety, a sense of normalcy and consistency. Yet, outside of the box there is light, more space and flexibility to build, create or even recreate anything you choose. A bit of encouragement- try to step outside of box, it’s beautiful out here.